Yesterday was the 3rd time i went to NUH this year...
Received the news that ah-ma was hospitalised at almost 7pm when she was actually warded since morning!
Is it so hard to get us in the day time? They could get us at 11plus at night at our hp but duno how to get to us in the daytime?? Such excuses.... shouldn't be even made up in the first place.

Cabbed down with Mom & Bro... seeing her lying on the bed in ICU can be a painstaking sight. she used to be able to travel to market herself, visit the temple for her usual prayings. but now? no more. her appetite grew so small that she don't feel like eating anything much. she don't seem to be as 'conscious' of the surrounding as before although she still recognise us. I still rem the 2nd time she was warded to hospital. It was on my birthday and i left work 1hour earlier, cabbed down to visit her. I was trying my very best to converse in my cmi teochew-mixed up with-hokkien. Though it wasn't easy, i'm glad that we had that conversation. Due to my proficiency in dialect, i seldom talk to her in the presence of others. So, i'm kinda glad that I was able to talk to her but of cos, the setting could've been better.

I hope that she will be able to recover soon. Hearing her talk about her suffering from no appetite and frequent coughs can be quite upsetting. Hopefully, she'll regain her appetite soon and be discharged from hospital......

I miss the day she brought me to Bugis to pray and the days when I was young and how she fussed over us when we visit her.....

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Confusion

This is the tenth month at this job. Can I say that I'm more or less used to the work already? But at the same time, when i received or witnessed some issues, i still get affected by it. Some of the things which won't get on my nerves might get on my nerves at times. I'm beginning to lose confidence in some issues and lost my persistence in some of the things which I was once so persistent in keeping. Have I changed? Or I just cannot be bothered about those stuffs anymore?
After entering the society, I see the ugly side of this world. I mean, from young, we were taught how good this is... how 'holy' it is.... how they keep all of us safe... can i just use a word to describe it? shan't mention much here but i can say, we shld all learn to depend on ourselves. This was what i've been hearing too. How disappointing and discouraging to hear such remarks....


On the side note, someone whom I see almost everyday is getting divorced over a SINGLE argument with the wife. & yes, he has 2 kids who are not even in primary school. He might say that the trust is not there anymore, he's very hurt by his wife's remarks & distrust but oh pls, is that really the reason? Or he's just sick of being married after 7years. N yep, the legendary 七年之痒right? such conicidence right? I was really surprised that one person can let go of the r/s so quickly and so easily. if you tell me one or two years, maybe, if you are hardhearted enough. but 7 years? not including the period of time when they started dating. & it's over ONE argument. Is r/s so brittle & easily forgotten? & this is not the first divorce case i'm hearing about. it's like...so common in here.. I thought marriage is supposed to be 'holy' and should not be treated in such a way? where did all the promise and vows that were made go to? The thought of this can be quite sad... have they come to this conclusion cos of the word 'distrust' or is it due to the 'spark' that is missing after the marriage? or is it due to the fact that the novelty is just not there anymore? or they are just bored with marriage?


At times, I'm so confused. there is a thin line between love and hatred.... what about being concerned VS not trusting each other? are you trying to clarify or find fault or simply u don't have the trust anymore? & even if you do trust someone, is it realy trust? or can it just be you cant be bothered? is it empowerment or shirking?


life is confusing enough without all these....

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